This Cat Stevens song from one of my all time favorite movies,
Harold and Maude, has been on my mind a lot recently:
Trouble
Oh trouble set me free
I have seen your face
And it's too much too much for me
Trouble
Oh trouble can't you see
You're eating my heart away
And there's nothing much left of me
I've drunk your wine
You have made your world mine
So won't you be fair
So won't you be fair
I don't want no more of you
So won't you be kind to me
Just let me go where
I'll have to go there
Trouble
Oh trouble move away
I have seen your face
and it's too much for me today
Trouble
Oh trouble can't you see
You have made me a wreck
Now won't you leave me in my misery
I've seen your eyes
and I can see death's disguise
Hangin' on me
Hangin' on me
I'm beat, I'm torn
Shattered and tossed and worn
Too shocking to see
Too shocking to see
Trouble
Oh trouble move from me
I have paid my debt
Now won't you leave me in my misery
Trouble
Oh trouble please be kind
I don't want no fight
And I haven't got a lot of time
We have suffered a big disappointment recently with respect to finances and housing, and are now "licking our wounds", so to speak. Since I've been in Canada we have been living frugally but still beyond our means, since our means are so meager. Ideally we would be paying only half of our current rent amount for housing. This would enable us to live within our meager means, frugally but without too much hardship. We could afford a bit of gasoline now and then, as well as the occasional auto maintenance, a new book or pair of shoes once in a while, and perhaps even a meal out once a month. But the way it is now we can afford none of these. Toad's pension covers the rent, phone, Internet, cable, Hydro (electricity), his prescription costs, our food and food for the creatures. My small pension covers only the car payment and repayment of school loans. Some necessities (such as auto and tenant insurance, heating oil, firewood, the chainsaw, the snowblower, veterinary fees, all gasoline and all auto maintenance/repairs) and all "extras" (phone cards, postage, clothing, shoes, books,gifts, etc) have been paid for with my rapidly dwindling savings. Obviously this can't continue much longer--a year at most, but probably less. Our cable contract expires at the end of May and we will give it up at that time. I've checked into canceling the contract and learned that we would have to pay a big penalty AND still pay a portion of the bill each month, even without the service! We have to keep the Internet, obviously. Our phone is the bare bones deal--no frills, and is necessary for peace of mind in case of emergency and to be able to communicate with others on occasion. The cost of gasoline and of electricity are unbelievably high--I could rant on and on about them. But I won't. At least not now.
Our rent contract expires in May, and my hope is that we will have found either more money to supplement our current income, cheaper accommodations that will cover all our expenses, or both. I am now eligible to apply for a work permit ($150 fee required with application), so there is the possibility of my generating some income. I've been checking the job bank for this area but have found little to get excited about. I would like to work part-time, if possible, since I gave up my nice house and job security to come to Canada to be with my Toad, not to work full-time and be away from home ten hours or more a day.
For the past year or more we have been checking MLS listings for an affordable piece of property with a house and outbuilding for the barn creatures. We've talked about the pros and cons of moving farther north or to another province in order to find something we could possibly afford, as prices in this area are quite high despite the area being somewhat economically depressed, but we really like the terrain here. And frankly, the thought of moving a long distance--planning the mechanics of such a move--is quite daunting to me, considering all the moving I've gone through these past two years. Ideally we could find a place nearby so that we could move a bit at a time, using my truck.
Recently I finally found such a property in this area, listed for $31K and the owner accepted our bid of $27K, conditional upon financing. By financing $25 for 25 years we would have had a mortgage payment of only $176. With taxes and insurance our housing costs would have been just under $300--exactly half of our current rent. The house was small but adequate for our needs, considering the storage building that came with it. It was only 1/2 acre, but the views were wonderful. We had the money to replace the roof and to do some minor cosmetic work. Our hopes were high that this was the answer to our financial and housing dilemma. Unfortunately we were turned down by two different banks and therefore unable to get a mortgage, small as it was. The reasons? (1) Toad has prided himself on having no credit cards, on paying cash for his purchases since 1978, so has no credit rating (despite dealing with the same local bank since 1978 and having a letter from his landlord of 17 years attesting to his prompt rent payment) and (2) I, who have great credit, am a
persona non grata here in Canada, since it is taking so damn long for my permanent residency application to finish processing that I am still not landed. Almost, but not quite. Enough to have received a health card at long last (a month ago), but not officially landed. So my credit rating, pension and other assets count for nothing here. Needless to say, this has been a very humiliating, disappointing and disillusioning experience for us. We lost the house. It was snapped up as soon as our offer/contract ran out last Monday.
So here we are, still living beyond our meager means and trying to recover from the blow. Toad needs at least a year of using a credit card in his name to establish a credit rating and I must be landed to count for anything here. Apparently all I'm good for is paying the exorbitant Canadian prices for rent, gasoline, electricity and food and bureaucratic fees. They'll take my money. They'll even demand my money, up front, for every bureaucratic "service" you can think of:
(a)marriage license application--$100;
(b)marriage officiating--$200;
(c)attorney fees for confirming that my divorce was legitimate, required for marriage license application--$200;
(d)attorney fees to notarize a form required regarding my pension--$50;
(e)application for permanent residency--$1525 (includes fee for Toad to be approved to sponsor me!);
(f)fee for medical exam for me, as part of my permanent residency application--$175;
(g)fees for bloodwork and chest x-ray for me, as part of my medical exam--$53.78;
(h)fee for medical exam for Kyle (who isn't even immigrating here), as part of my permanent residency application--$175;
(i)fees for bloodwork and chest x-ray for Kyle, as part of his medical exam--$53.78;
(j)fee for OPP to fingerprint Kyle for him to have prints to send to FBI as part of security clearance, as part of my permanent residency application--$24.75;
(k)fees paid
so far to extend my visa, since it is taking so long to attain permanent residency--$225;
(l)fee to import my car to Canada--$240;
(m)inspection fee paid to Canadian Tire, necessary to import the car--$25;
(n)fees for daytime running lights to be installed for car so that it will meet Canadian requirement and pass inspection--$130 (ripped off by Canadian Tire in North Bay);
(o)fees yet to be paid to import my truck, when I'm landed--$240;
(p)inspection fee yet to be paid to Canadian Tire, necessary to import the truck--$25;
(q)fees yet to be paid for daytime running lights and dawg-knows-what-else to be installed for truck so that it will meet Canadian requirement and pass inspection--upwards from $130;
(r)fee yet to be paid as part of application for work permit--$150
(s)fees yet to be inflicted--$???
Everybody has their hand out, wanting money from me. But when I put my hand out to get a mortgage to help me and
one of their own--a real Canadian, the Toad, my hand is slapped. Ouch! Do I sound bitter?
